Manners.

Boundaries make a dog feel safe.

“Timid dogs make pretty good housemates”, a dog-trainer once said to me when I first brought Roxy home. I didn’t understand her comment at the time but the observation has rung true over the 11 years I have lived with Roxy. With her preference for being left alone, Roxy does not hop onto furniture, jump up onto people, nose excessively for pats, beg for food or bark at dogs walking by. Yet this is Roxy naturally and I’ve luckily never had to work on redirecting any behaviours. Many dogs I know, however, are more extroverted / reactive / excitable than Roxy and will test their boundaries. At the same time, a dog doesn’t know what it doesn’t know. They need to be shown what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour and learn how to be good housemates. Knowing the rules makes a dog feel secure in its skin. Not knowing the rules makes a dog unhinged.

Every household is different in terms of what doggie behaviour it will or will not accept. Some manners are universally agreed upon as desirable, such as no peeing or pooping in the house. But other behaviours are a matter of personal preference, e.g. whether you will allow your dog to climb into bed or lounge on the furniture.

When thinking through the house rules for your puppy, consider what it means when your dog is fully grown. For example, letting your puppy share your bed now may be cute and snuggly, but if your dog will end up a big one, it might quickly become a tight squeeze. If you can’t decide what would or wouldn’t be tolerable later on, start by putting in place more boundaries and increase freedoms later. This is fairer for your dog.

Toilet training

There are various ways to toilet train a dog but the most efficient method is through crate training. Some people find crates a disturbance to the decor, but take comfort that crate training is temporary - you can easily buy a dog crate second-hand and then re-sell as soon as you don’t need it anymore. Some dogs really take to their crate and think of the box as their little “bedrooms”. In this case, no harm keeping the crate (if you have the luxury of space).

Below are the steps to get toilet training done in under one week.

Day 1 Crate Training

On the first day you bring puppy home, train her/him to love their crate. The easiest way to do this is to use food chew toys:

• Start by placing a well-stuffed chew toy inside the crate, close the gate and lock your puppy OUT of the crate for a few moments so it can’t get to the food inside. This will create a desire from your puppy to get inside the crate. Open the door after a few moments and let them have the chew toy. Keep the door open. Repeat a few times. Some puppies are understandably tentative about going into a confined space. That’s alright. Be patient and let your puppy explore and enter the crate on its own. Do not push or force your puppy into the crate.

• When your puppy is happily going inside its crate, close the door for a few moments. Offer your puppy some extra tasty dog treats through the bars. After a few moments, open the crate door again. Repeat, gradually increase the time the crate door is closed.

• Repeat the above, but move yourself further from the crate each time, with the door closed.

• Finally, repeat the above, but exit the room altogether, each time lengthening the time you are out of sight.

• Each time you return, open the crate door and offer plenty of praise and positive reinforcement.

• In no time at all your puppy will think it no big deal to be alone inside their crate.

• Tip! Make sure to check there is always food inside the food chew toy when you work on Day 1 crate conditioning, i.e. that they haven’t eaten it all!

Toilet Training on the Hour

Although it is tempting to let your puppy have the run of the house when you first bring them home, it’s far better to first get toilet training out of the way before you grant them such freedoms. Otherwise, they will get used to toileting inside the house wherever and whenever which unnecessarily delays toilet training. 

The best way to toilet train is to set your puppy up for success, which means using the crate:

• Young puppies need to go to the toilet roughly hourly. Every hour, carry your puppy from its crate to the dedicated toilet spot inside your house or in the garden. Then wait.

• Your puppy will sniff around and then pee or poop. When they are in the act of peeing or pooping, say gently “Toilet” (or whatever word you want to use) and praise. Unlike with obedience training, praise in low soft tones because you don’t want your puppy to get so excited that they stop what they’re doing.

• Once they finish, praise in excited high tones and treat generously.

• After they relieve themselves, there is less chance that your puppy will have any accidents inside. This is the time to let them run around, play or do some training exercises in your house, supervised. If you see any hint that your puppy may need to toilet again (e.g. lots of sniffing around, beginnings of a crouch or leg-raise), pick them up immediately and take them to their spot.

• Puppies tire easily so after 15 minutes of play, you can place them back inside their crate (make sure there is still food in the chew toy).

• If your puppy doesn’t pee or poop when you take them to their spot, put them back in the crate and try again 15 minutes later.

What About When Puppy Is Unsupervised?

You can’t always be around your puppy 24-7 but you can still set them up for success when they are Home Alone by creating a temporary confinement area (let’s call it a “playpen”). Ideally, the enclosed space should be reasonable in size and longish in shape, e.g. rectangular space that is 3x as long as it is wide. Laundry rooms seem to work well also. This is where your puppy will spend its time when you are not at home, or at night when people are sleeping, until they are fully toilet trained:

• Place your puppy’s bed (or crate) at one end of the playpen with a water bowl beside it.

• Place 2-3 well-stuffed chew toys near its bed / crate.

• Then place a litter pan at the opposite end of the playpen / laundry room. Your puppy will naturally want to toilet as far away from its bed as possible. Set up the litter pan to replicate the real toilet spot, e.g. scatter some gravel in there if your puppy goes on concrete or place in some real / fake grass if your puppy toilets on grass.

• When you come home, if they haven’t toileted in the playpen / laundry room, take your puppy to its toilet spot immediately. Praise heaps if it does its business.

• If your puppy has made a mess outside the boundary of the litter pan, simply clean it up without fuss. DO NOT punish your dog for missing the spot - the deed is done and they will not understand why you are upset.

• Tip! Dogs don’t like pooping where there is existing poop so make sure you clean up any poop you find in the litter pan as soon as possible.

• A reminder that this solution is temporary. As soon as your puppy is fully toilet trained, which hopefully is in no time using this method, you can let your puppy have free access to the rest of the house.

Good Manners

In fresh, eager puppies, teaching good manners is simply an exercise in human self restraint and not rewarding undesirable behaviour. The key is to be consistent and all people in the house need to get onboard in enforcing the rules, kids included. 

• Consciously think through the house rules for your puppy. Some common rules include whether you will let them onto the bed / sofa / other bits of furniture, jump up to greet people, lick faces, beg for food, bark at the postman...

• Be consistent in reinforcing only good behaviour and all people need to be on board. It’s no use Mum saying “No!” to puppy jumping on the bed only to discover Dad spooning with Axel during a weekend nap.

• If you don’t want your puppy on the bed or sofa, when they do jump up, gently encourage them down (or lift them down) and say “Off”, praising once they have 4 paws on the floor.

• To teach your dog to not jump up when greeting people, ignore your puppy when they do jump up on you. Only give them attention when they are calm and have all 4 paws on the ground. Tip! Ignore means ignore, meaning no vocal, no physical and no eye contact acknowledgement.

• If face licking isn’t your thing, when you feel wet tongue on face, say a gentle “No” and move away from your puppy for a few seconds.

• If you find begging for food impolite and annoying (because it is), ignore your puppy’s pleading eyes and they’ll soon get the message. No sneaking bits of bacon under the table!

Over To You!

• Condition your puppy to love its crate on Day 1.

• Toilet train your puppy in under a week with the crate / playpen method.

• Once your puppy is fully toilet trained, they can have free access to the house.

• Decide on the house rules for your puppy. Better to have more boundaries in place at the start and increase freedoms later on.

• Enforce the rules with rigour! The key is consistency meaning everybody in the house needs to be onboard, kids included.

Back / Back to Start